From: gh1g+@andrew.cmu.edu (Gregg Fielding Hinderstein)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Friendship
Date: 30 Nov 89 03:06:14 GMT
Organization: Class of '91, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Status: O

I once found a bit of writing that made a great deal of sense to me, and
it pertains to the subject

   "Will you marry me?"
   "Why should I marry you?"
   "That would take a long time to answer, but I'll give you the best reason:
because I think we have become very good friends, and could go on to be 
splendid friends, and would be very likely to be wonderful friends forever."
   "Friends?"
   "What's wrong with being friends?"
   "When people talk about marriage, they generally use stronger words than 
that."
   "Do they?  I don't know. I've never asked anyone to marry me before."
   "You mean you've never been in love?"
   "Certainly I've been in love.  More times than I can count.  I've had two 
or three affairs with girls I loved.  But I knew very well that they weren't 
friends."
   "You put friendship above love?"
   "Doesn't everybody?  No, that's a foolish question; of course they don't.
They talk about love to people with whom they are infatuated, and sometimes
involved to the point of devotion.  I've nothing against love.  Most
enjoyable.  But I'm talking to you about marriage."
   "Marriage.  But you don't love me?"
   "Of course I love you, fathead, but I'm serious about marriage, and
marriage with anyone whom I do not think the most splendid friend I've ever
had doesn't interest me.  Love and sex are very fine but they won't last.
Friendship - the kind of friendship I am talking about - is charity and
loving-kindness more than it's sex and it lasts as long a life.  What's
more, it grows, and sex dwindles; has to.  So - will you marry me and be
friends?"
					-Robertson Davies "The Rebel Angels"

I think if more permanent relationships were based on friendship rather
than the undefinable "love", there'd be a lot less divorce.

Sinatra sang: "Love and Marrage go together like a horse and carrage"
Sinatra was a fool.

Gregg