From: kbryant@husc7.harvard.edu (Katherine Bryant)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: SONG: with apologies to Billy Joel...
Date: 1 Dec 1994 02:41:49 GMT
Organization: Harvard University Science Center

Valentine and shpark have been huddled over in a corner somewhere, muttering
to themselves, writing things down and crossing them out, occasionally
giggling and humming, and generally acting a little odder than usual.  Finally
they emerge and go talk to Fast Eddie for a minute.  Getting a nod, they
find a clear spot.

shpark taps on a glass with a spoon.  "Hey, everyone?" he begins.  "We've
got something to sing for you..."

Valentine adds, "This grew out of a typically strange session at the IRC
Round Table one night last week.  With apologies to Billy Joel, we proudly
present:  'Peanut Man,' to the tune of 'Piano Man.'"  

Together, they start to sing:

"Peanut Man"
by Katherine Bryant and Sheeyun Park
to the tune of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel

It's 9 o'clock on a Wednesday
the regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an HNG sitting next to me [HNG=horny.net.geek]
making love to his keyboard with a grin.

He says something like
"How old R U?"
I'm not really sure how it goes.
He thinks he's so sweet
but he couldn't compete
With a Didi-hug sent with a rose!

(chorus) Sing us a song here in Callahan's,
Sing us a song tonight
For we're all in the mood for some silliness
And there might even be a food fight.

Mike (tm) at the bar is a friend of mine.
He gets me my drinks for a buck.
He's quick with a game
or squirt guns if you flame,
but he looks kinda down on his luck.

"Shpark, I believe this is killing me,"
as the smile ran away from his face.
"I'm afraid you're all violating copyright,
When you mention my name in this Place."

la di da di daaaa, da dum...

[chorus]

Some people are discussing politics
While others to punning are prone,
They're sharing a drink they call friendship --
It's much better than drinking alone.

Joe is a hedgehog player
who never did win a fair game.
And he's speaking with Didi
who's hugging the needy
While Val tries to keep her nickname.

[chorus]

It's a pretty good crowd for a Wednesday
the mikebot gives me a peanut
'Cause he knows that it's us
that are causing the fuss
As we try to get out of our rut.

The glasses Ke-RASH! like a carnival
and VAX is cleaning all year.
We stay up too late as we procrastinate
and say, "Man what are we doing here?"

[chorus, fading into 'la da da, dih di daaaa....]

Valentine and shpark bow, duck peanuts, and all that sort of thing, and
then shpark runs away from the advancing Joe...


-- Valentine, for herself and shpark
"The missing mass?  It's on my desk somewhere..." -- me and my housemate