Hot Box Tournament #2
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Subject: REFS NEEDED FOR HOT BOX (Was: Re: Boston Hot Box Tourney)

Date: 3 Aug 1994 16:27:07 GMT

In article <1994Aug2.111107.1@pearl.tufts.edu> psackley@pearl.tufts.edu writes:

• Well, it had to happen sooner or later. The impressive string of tournament victories posted by Boston's Death or Corky (aka "the Tea Party") ended this weekend when, once again, the big boys from Boston failed to win the big one, in this case the Jose Cuevro National Hot Box Championships. The tournament was won by the Somerville Youth All-Stars, a team comprised mainly of Tufts alumni, who defended their home turf at Tufts' Cousens Fields. Despite falling behind early by a score of 7-2, the Teat Party fought back gamely, led by the raw athleticism of Jim Parinella, the good hands and sense of humor of Mike Kizilbach, and the brilliant and inventive arguing tactics of Dennis "Cartesian Theater" McCarthy. However, their comeback was destined to fall short, due largely to the perhaps less-inspired but equally tenacious arguing skills and endurance of Gary Lipman, and the sheer bulk of Bob "House" Harding. Bob is also a veteran arguer. The final score was 11-8, but most observers felt that it was not that close. Said semi-finals loser Jordan Haskell, "No way. Somerville Youth beat the Tear Party like they were a pack of rented mules. Furthermore, Somerville Youth's play was mush more aesthetically pleasing, and Bob Harding provided a nice visual contrast to Jeremy Seeger, sort of an Oliver Hardy to Jay's Stan Laurel." The finals were ably and impartially officiated by Dennis "kinesthesia" Mccarthy's father.

The Tea Party came up a few contested goals short to Somerville Youth "You're Not In" All-Stars in the nearly 40 team Cuervo Box Tournament this weekend. Led by Paul "Well, We Did Agree That THAT Was The Rule, And It Should Be A Goal, But Bob Didn't Know About It, So Let's Do It Over" Sackley, Somerville "Your Foot Was Out" Uncouth did jump to an early lead on several questionable calls, but eventually the Tea Party adapted to the new "rules" and closed the gap. The game was disrupted for as many as 10 minutes on several occasions as Bob "There's No WAY You Can Say That You Were In" Harding and Gary "Well, To Tell The Truth, I Didn't Really See It But I'd Have To Agree With Bob Anyway" Lippman steadfastly held to their gaping holed stories against the overwhelming Tea Party discussion led by Dennis "Words Are My Life" McCarthy and Al "Walking Dictionary" deFrondeville. Eventually, though, the relentless banter of Slumberville "We've Got To Beat These Guys in SOMETHING" Yout' wore down the gentle nature of the Tea Party, and the game ended. Said semi-finals loser Jordan Haskell, "I can't believe I was misquoted like that. Here's what really happened. It was like those guys were playing by different rules. Kizilbash would catch it standing in the middle of the box, and Youth would scream, "Not in, you jumped from outside the box and your foot was on the line and you bobbled it and it was a handoff and there was time out and ...", while Dennis would be there like, "but...but...but... but...and...but...sir, I humbly protest, but if that was your call, I must trust your judgment, although I was standing right here calmly watching while your were laying out for my fake and rolling on the ground." It was a farce, I tell you. If it was a fair game, it would have been 11-3, maybe 11-4 in favor of the Tea Party. Boy, I wish I could be like those guys."

There it is folks.

Jim "Who You Gonna Believe, Me or Him?" Parinella Disinterested Sports Reporter

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